I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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