i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
