last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
