People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
