did you get engaged???
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
