the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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