I met the friendliest cop last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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