Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
