he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize