can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
