So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
