mondays should just be called national damage control day
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
