just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
