I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
