do herpes really smell.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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