You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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