I can tuck mytits in my pants
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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