So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
