Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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