remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
