I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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