are you still at the devil's house?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
