She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize