let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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