batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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