i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize