i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
