just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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