we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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