you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
