Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
