if you like me you must not know who I am
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Are we still banned from the library?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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