wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
thus making me awesome and them whores
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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