Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
