He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
