Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
