they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize