Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
