she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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