i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
