Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you still have your period?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
