you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
