This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
