don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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