My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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