She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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