ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize