Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
