In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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