let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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