What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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