I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
