yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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