There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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