she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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