"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
