In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
