Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
